Chuck Norris & Programming
Today I stumbled on some Chuck Norris programming jokes. Would like to share ‘em with you guys. Some of them had me crack up quite a bit.
- “Chuck Norris doesn’t need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.”
- “All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.”
- “Chuck Norris doesn’t need try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.”
- “Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.”
- “Chuck Norris doesn’t need to use AJAX because pages are too afraid to postback anyways.“
- “Chuck Norris never has to “sudo” any command. In fact, unbeknownst to everyone, UNIX aliases “sudo” to “chucknorris_mode”
- “Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.” and “Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.”
- “Chuck Norris never gets “data-truncated” error. Instead, his run-time environment logs “variable-extended”.”
- “Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.”
- “No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell the tale”
- “Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null”
- “Chuck Norris types with 2 fingers. He points them at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.”
- However… “Chuck Norris doesn’t use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris”
The man himself
Chuck does more than coding. Infact, he does everything, including, but not limited to:
- “When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. “
- “Google won’t search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don’t find Chuck Norris, he finds you.”
- “Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.”
- “Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.”
- “Chuck Norris does not believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.”
I’m risking my life by making fun of Chuck Norris, so if you got any cool facts to add: fill out the form & bang on reply and we’ll meet in Hell. Chuck please spare us. 
Sources
Top 50 Chuck Norris Facts
Chuck Norris Programming Facts
LMFAO XD
I got 2 posters with a crap load of these things haha.
\The true definition of Pi is Chuck Norris.\
\Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.\
\Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.\
\Chuck Norris can hear silence.\
\Chuck Norris can find the needle in the haystack.\
\Chuck Norris can divide by zero.\
\Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch; He decides what time it is.\
\Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.\
lol
gotta love Chuck Norris xD
“Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.”
Just found that one. It’s awesome.
Nils is Chuck Norris! XD
Sorry Chuck Norris!
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I do not like that phrase:
“Chuck Norris does not believe in God. God believes in Chuck Norris.”
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http://translate.google.com/
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suelake is dead
http://www.codesqueeze.com/wp-content/2009/06/geek-chuck-norris.jpg
CHUCK PROGRAMER NORRIS
:O
Nils is Chuck Norris!
Sorry Chuck Norris
XD
Hmm, where did the post about Tunar-niggus go?
Hehe, I made one up.
“Chuck Norris doesn’t use a framework, the framework uses Chuck Norris.”
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